Konglishee: A Short Story by Me

Editors Note

First off, yes it is strange that a short story (a very short story) has an editor's note, but where else would Cathy be able to get across what she's trying to do? This story is written in Konglish. If you read it excactly as it's written it will make more sense (more sense, but not that much more). Below she's translated it into regular English, then for shits and giggles, put it all into pidgeon Korean/English for those who are super bored and can read Korean!!!

Konglishee
Kesi situ. Perree perrie poredu. Asa!! Haendu pone! Kall Aleksu!
"Neeeeeeeeee, yobeseyo?" Aleksu askee.
"Anneeyong hasseyooo!! Itsuh Kesi."
"Ye, ye. Whutaes up?"
"Aleksu, you busee?" Kesi saeii.
"Ani, ani. Waetchiee On sutilee," Aleksu reepulae.
"Assssshh!! Mee missu aneetingue?" Kesi piks up klikaer.
"Tuh pikkest loosa. Shoooo muchee pat!! Sarang hae pat!!"
"Grossuh," kesi sighes, "Aleksu, you sickee."
"Arrasseyo! It perree phasinate!! Kan't helpuh."

English
Cathy sits. She's very very bored. She is so smart!! She has a cell phone! She'll give Alex a call.
"Yes, who is it?" Alex asks.
"Hello and lots of wellbeing for you in the future!! It's Cathy."
"Yeah, yeah. What's up?"
"Alex, are you busy?" Cathy says.
"No, no. Just watching On Style," Alex replies.
"Oh shit. Have I missed anything interesting?" Cathy says as she picks up the remote.
"I'm watching "The Biggest Loser".* There's so much fat!! I love watching the fat!"
"Gross," Cathy sighs, "Alex, you're a sick puppy."
"I know. But it's very fascinating! I can't help it!!"

너드 슈르
케시 시드. 배리 배리 포라트. 앗사!! 한드 판! 칼 알랰스!
"내, 여버새여?" 알랰스 앗크.
"안영 핫새여! 잍스 케시."
"야 야."
"알랰스, 알 유 빗시?" 케시 새스.
"아니, 아니. 언 스다일," 알랰스 립울이.
"앗흐! 미 밋스 안니싱?" 케시 빜 웁 카맄아.
"둫 빅잇드 려사. 서 무치 팓! 살랑 해 팓!!!"
"가러스," 케시 싯, "알랰스, 유 시키."
"알랏아여! 읻 배리 파신아드! 칸드 핼프."

For those who tried to read this last part, hahahahahahahahhaha. Yes, I spent a ridiculous amount of time, and no, I don't want any e-mails or messages telling me where I should have done a better job of spelling or Konglisizing!